Personal Well-being: The Most Important Prerequisite For Having Children

What are the ideal circumstances for having children? It’s not just about having a partner. The most basic condition is to have established sufficient personal well-being yourself.

You need to be a person who is happy with, and who takes care of, himself. And, at the same time, be willing to give your best to your children.

If, on the other hand, the relationship lacks harmony, it all makes no sense. Nothing is as devastating as growing up with two parents who are dysfunctional, erratic, or clearly emotionally or psychologically immature.

Having children can sometimes be something completely natural. But,  what is not always so simple is to make sure that this child becomes a person with a healthy self-esteem. Raising a child who is confident, brave, capable of being happy and also makes others happy is no easy task.

Therefore, there is nothing more important than having as a role model parents who are happy and able to share their values ​​for this new life. The values ​​that have made you a strong and satisfied person will also help your child –  whether you have a partner or not.

We invite you to reflect on this with us.

Happy parents, healthy children?

Happy parents, happy children? Yes, it’s certainly true, but one thing you have to remember is that happiness is a state that comes and goes. It embraces us at certain times and then it abandons us and puts us to the test during difficult periods.

Rather than happy mothers and fathers, what our children need is to have people around them equipped with an emotional and psychological strength. 

Let’s look at this in detail:

Human warmth

Human heat does not come automatically. And it’s not like we got a program installed on our internal hard drive at any factory. Human warmth is something that is created over time with the help of some very concrete aspects:

• Via a sense of respect, reciprocity, empathy and consideration.
• Through a healthy development of a strong identity and a good self-esteem that, at the same time, also makes you respect other individuals.
• In addition, human heat has another task, and that is to do good. It is humility and wanting the good of others. It is to be strong but still always be there for those around you.

Our personal story and how we have dealt with it

We are not products of our past, but rather of how we have chosen to deal with it . A father or a mother is much more than what we see on the surface. Behind each individual are thousands of hidden challenges that that person has had to overcome. Personal challenges, fears and endless battles won.

All of this is  “added value.”  It is the energy that teaches us that  we do not need much to be happy: We only need people around us who love us .

With or without a partner: The most important thing is that we love ourselves in order to love our children

If a person is not able to love themselves, it results in him or her projecting his or her own needs onto others, and this can have serious side effects on parenting.

Parents who do not love themselves have a tendency to become controlling, and often choose a parenting style that can be downright unhealthy for the child. 

• Fathers and mothers who do not love themselves can develop an unhealthy and neurotic addiction to their children. In addition to controlling behavior, they are often driven by mistrust of others and emotional roller coasters. It can have serious consequences for the child’s psychological development.

Love yourself to be able to love better

To love oneself is not selfishness. We want to make that clear from the beginning. We all have the right to provide ourselves with what we are worth, to fight for what we want and to maintain personal well-being and dignity.

All this makes us parents who are worthy to bring children into the world. Because when we take care of ourselves, we are also capable of giving the best of ourselves to our children.

Whether you have a partner or not, the most important thing of all is that you take care of yourself. Therefore, you need to deal with your emotional shortcomings, insecurities and fears every day.

By doing so , you will give your children a role model that is worth following. Your children will grow up with a person they can trust, look up to and from whom they can learn something every day.