Mom, This Is What I Saw When You Thought I Did Not Watch

My beautiful mother, I have to thank you so much. Above all, it is the small, genuine details that show your true self. For in every natural act you show your noble and pure being. That’s what I saw when you thought I was not looking at you.

Yes, I stared at you and admired you deeply with a pride that took over my heart. Because when you thought I did not notice, I could see your true soul through your actions.

Your details that you thought I did not see are what make people so amazing and unique, and not least invaluable. Mom, thank you for all the hands-on lessons. By watching you, I have learned a model to live by.

What I learned when you thought I did not look at you

One day when I was very young, we went to the hospital. You went there to visit your sick friend who you were so worried about. Then I understood that people should take care of each other without expecting anything in return, because unconditional love is what unites us.

On another occasion, I saw you give money to a mother with her child on the train. I saw you work on several community projects. I saw you engaged, involved in things that seemed unusual. You never refused to help the poor.

In that way, I could also understand that even if you have some time and / or money left over, it is possible to take care of the well-being of others. Of course, you knew this very well: “Well-understood solidarity begins in the home.” You knew how to cross those boundaries. You taught me the value of solidarity and generosity.

Empathy, social conscience and kindness were something you taught me that reached deep into my soul. You were a compassionate person who always fought for the happiness of others, for equality and to include everyone. I saw all this while you thought I was not looking at you.

Another time I remember you fed a homeless kitten. It was scared and sad out there on the street. You did not hesitate but brought food with you next time . That was when I understood that we should treat animals with love and respect.

You looked happy both morning and evening, no matter how tired or stressed you were. But I could also see the pain in your eyes. Sometimes you could not hold back your tears. That day I realized that pain and sorrow are a part of life.

These are two emotions that are incorrectly perceived as negative. But they are both necessary. With these emotional breakdowns, you showed me that it’s normal to cry. No matter what gender the person is, it is sometimes necessary.

What you gave me while you thought I was not looking at you

While you mistakenly thought I was not looking at you, I saw many interesting things. Things that left traces in my heart. They were good to me, they filled me with learning and comfort. In the word of truth, there is as much as you have given me.

For example, I could see how much you appreciated one of my drawings with a big smile on your face. That day you put my drawing on the fridge with a magnet. I did not hesitate for a single second but immediately wanted to draw another one. I also appreciated how you collected all my thousands of small pictures.

Every lunch and dinner was amazing. You tried to prepare my favorite dishes in the healthiest ways. You always contributed to my good health and wanted me to feel both safe and a little pampered. You made my favorite cake maybe a thousand times, just for my sake. Such little things go a long way!

You have never stopped taking care of me, nor our house, our sweet home built with a foundation of your effort and your sacrifices. You pay attention to every little detail for every member of the home. And now I really understand that we have to take care of what we have and what we want to keep.

And it never mattered how bad you felt. No matter what, you were always there and fulfilled your obligations. Then I realized what responsibility really means.

Thanks for everything I learned from you when you thought I was not watching. You were a verb, not a simple noun. You became a role model, a model to live by and one I can be proud of. I love you mother!

The images used with the permission of Maud Tausey Fangel.