Love Language In The Relationship Between Mother And Child
You’ve probably heard of the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Or maybe your own life experiences helped you realize that not all people have their own love language.
Each of us expresses affection differently and demands something similar to feel loved. Love language has been explored most in connection with couples. But they are also fundamental in the relationship between parents and their children.
In general, we as parents are aware of the importance of love for our children. It is the most important foundation on which their self-esteem and the rest of their future relationships will be based.
However , it is not enough that we love them, they must also feel loved. It is not enough for us to show them love; it is important for them to be able to clearly perceive it.
Five love languages
Words of confirmation
This type of language consists of expressing love with praise, words of appreciation, and thanksgiving. If your child listens to this language, they need to hear and read how much you love them. To do this, speak to them lovingly. For example, you could say things like “I’m so proud of you”; “you are so smart”; “I love being your mother.”
These children will also appreciate small gestures, such as a handwritten note in the lunch box wishing them a good day or a card especially dedicated to them. Open your heart to them with words.
Quality time
Quality time is about giving the other person, in this case your child, your undivided attention. It’s not just about being in the same physical space, but about really connecting. Children who speak this language need the special moments alone with their parents, especially if they have siblings.
So to show them your love, organize occasional activities that you can share and enjoy together, like taking a bike ride, playing their favorite games, watching a movie … Give them your time and they will feel loved.
Gifts as a language of love
For children who have this language, it is important for them to receive gifts to feel love, not for their material value, but for their meaning. Receiving a gift means that mom or dad has thought of them, their liking, and that they want to please them.
If you are the mother of one of these children, avoid giving them money for their birthday and try to find something that is really meaningful and valuable to them. It is also a good idea to give them spontaneous gifts from time to time, even if it is not a special day.
Picking them up from school with a cute gift or a small toy that they can take home will make them very happy.
Deeds
In this case, action speaks louder than words. Your children need you to show your love through concrete actions, not just by telling them that you love them. They feel loved when you make small sacrifices for them, for example by taking them to leisure activities, helping them with homework, taking the time to create their favorite hairstyle or sewing together the stuffed animal that broke.
Physical contact
Finally, some children need physical displays of affection to feel loved. Not only do they enjoy hugs and kisses, they also enjoy holding hands on the street or cuddling in bed while reading a bedtime story.
Learn to handle your child’s love language
Although we all to a greater or lesser extent handle all of these love languages, we tend to have a clear preference for one or two of them.
In the case of children, this predilection begins to become apparent at the age of five. But once you have identified your children’s love language, you may find that they do not value or use the same as you.
You may find that physical contact is not necessary. In fact, you may even find it unpleasant. But if you find that this is what your child needs, you need to make an effort.
Similarly, if you have never been a great gift giver but your child values spontaneous and heartfelt gestures, you must try to change this. It is important to show love to your children as they need, because it will make a big difference in their lives.
