Having Children Is More Than A Dream Come True

Becoming a parent means much more than having a dream come true or achieving a goal. Holding a newborn baby in our arms means that we have a project on the horizon that will last for the rest of our lives. This means that your heart will live outside your body forever and that you will rejoice in every moment with this perfect being. Read more in this article about the longing to have children.

In science and psychology, researchers often examine a woman’s desire to become a mother. We can say, without a doubt, that this longing is somehow private, intimate, and often inexplicable. 

However, researchers, who are constantly trying to isolate variables, say that this longing is almost always based on three motives.

The first motive behind a person’s dream of having children, is that you want to strengthen the bond with your partner. You want a life project together.

The second driving force for women to become mothers is to feel realized.

The last, and perhaps most transcendental, reason for many to become mothers is a longing to find meaning in their own existence.  

You may or may not agree with these three motives. But we can undoubtedly agree that there is “something more” in it than this.

Of course, the desire to have children is not always shared with one’s partner. There may also be other situations and factors.

There are also times when a child comes when you least expected it, and it turns out to be the best thing that could ever have happened.

Having children is about something much more than just a longing. We invite you to reflect on this.

I wanted something and it took a long time for my desire to come true, but now you are finally here

Some children come after a long period of waiting and hoping. Long-awaited pregnancies take a long time…

Women who can not get pregnant. Men and women who dream of becoming parents… Families who try and try and only find frustration… Until finally, a miracle happens and the dream becomes a reality.

Whether your partner shares your deep longing or not, there are both men and women who dream of having children and who are waiting for the right time. When the combination of our emotional life and our finances makes the magical moment possible.

But just when the time seems perfect, they discover that it is not possible. The test shows negative time and time again.

The pregnancy is not coming. And there is no alternative but to seek help; to turn to modern science and to assisted reproduction.

At the same time, something that is not always talked about is the mental and emotional thorn that this trial takes on both men and women.

The stress, the disappointment, the hopes and the frustration – together they create a heavy web that is difficult to handle.

These situations are very complex and characterized by a strong desire to have children. In most cases, the endeavor leads to success.

The “imagined child” that lives in us

This beautiful painting by Henry James Draper at the end of the 19th century represents the magical moment when a nymph makes his dream of becoming a mother come true.

Draper himself explained that he imagined the woman walking sadly along the beach just before the scene portrayed on the board. Suddenly she finds a giant mussel, on the rocks, wrapped in seagrass.

Without thinking, she pulls on the seaweed and the mussel opens. When it opens, the nymph discovers a perfect little pink baby, who sleeps peacefully on its pearly white surface. The woman thanks the sea and takes the child in her arms.

This longing for the arrival of the child always comes with the mental notion of “the imagined child”.

This can seem like something mentally and emotionally unhealthy. But it can actually be very beneficial, as long as you do not lose your grip on logic and reality.

• This is not about attributing to the imagined child ideal qualities, such as extraordinary beauty and intelligence, academic success, or an ever caring and obedient personality.

• What is healthy is to visualize yourself happy and in the company of this child. It does not have to be a future lawyer, concert pianist or prominent athlete. He can be whatever he wants to be. But we can imagine a little one who tomorrow will be able to do whatever she decides to do. We can visualize that we ourselves help him and teach him. We can see ourselves constantly present, as a shining light in every step of her life.

In summary; A person’s desire to become a mother or father is based on many reasons that cannot be isolated or measured in a laboratory.

There is simply a deep longing to complete our lives. To share our lives with a free and happy child. We dream of giving that child wings to fly with. Giving him roots to remember where he came from. That he knows we will always love him.

Our desires always come first in the form of dreams, and later we enjoy them when they come true. Enjoy every day with your little treasure…