Mom, Keep Me Close To Your Skin, Close To Your Soul … Free From Fear

Mom, let me grow up close to you,  skin to skin, breath to breath, soul to soul. Let me be close to you at least for the first three years of my life. In this way you give the world a strong and brave child. A person who is free from fear.

Today we will share the incredible importance of letting your child grow up in an environment that favors physical contact.

Physical contact is the best stimulus; it benefits the child’s development, assigns the child security and well-being. It also promotes the creation of neuronal connections to tactile, vocal, taste and sensory stimulation.

In this article, we want to talk about children’s primary instincts and the importance of raising a child who is “free from fear”. Today we often use the word “connection”, but before we continue we need to explain a few terms.

In the area of ​​personal development, “connection” is tied to our fixation on or acquisition of certain things or the ability to let go of them, or connections that act as an obstacle to our freedom or identity.

On the other hand, in the context of parenting,  we find a connection in the classic Bowlby theory. It reminds us of the importance of creating a strong and firm connection with the child in order to promote growth and self-esteem, which eventually allows the children to develop independently.

In this article, we want to state the following: offering close attention and skin contact creates a positive connection between you and your child, and helps you to raise your child without fear, insecurities and low self-esteem.

Fear is the most relevant instinct in a newborn’s brain

There is no place that is safer, more perfect or more comfortable than the womb. Nothing bad can happen there, everything is calm, everything is warm, satisfying and predictable. The birth, however, exposes the child to a new strange world.

• The first thing they feel is that they are torn from the mother’s interior and that a stranger is holding them, bathing them, weighing them and handling them.

Later, when they get to know their mother for the first time, they  notice how they are occasionally taken to the cradle, which is lonely and dark. Fear hovers over them and they feel the fear of abandonment and the feeling that they cannot move on…

I was just born, everything scares me

Babies are born with immature brains. They are governed by instincts and needs and all they want is to feel safe, loved and fed.

• During the first months, what scares the baby most of all is the separation from the mother. At that age, they are unable to understand that just because they are put in the cradle, they are not abandoned. They still do not understand that just because they do not feel the mother’s warmth, nothing bad will happen to them.

The instinct of fear is a natural reaction with a unique purpose: to help them adapt. Therefore, let us not intensify it unnecessarily.

To free oneself from fear, an important daily investment

Experts in parent and child psychology say that  close to 35 percent of babies develop insecure attachments. 

This may be because you grew up in environments that do not benefit from emotional attention from an early age. A place where parents do not pay attention to their children when they cry or where the children realize that they can not count on their guardians when they need them.

This lack of attachment has a serious effect on their minds.

An insecure connection creates dependence in the child. They are always “tied” to their insecurities and worries. Attached to anger that they can not get an outlet for yet and slowly but surely disobedience, resentment and other challenging behaviors begin to emerge.

How to encourage children to “free” themselves from their fears

You need to understand that your baby has endless needs that need to be understood and taken care of.

• Remember that every child is unique. Sometimes  there are children who are more demanding and needy than others.
• Pay attention when they cry.
• Always keep them close to you. If you work or spend a lot of time away from home, make sure that when you get home use a classic baby carrier to keep the baby close to your skin and your breasts.
• Do not understand all your children’s feelings, do not sanction or intensify them. It is about being patient and always being close, understanding and consistent with your rules.

• Know their fears.
• Slowly but surely you raise their tolerance for frustration.

Finally,  do not forget to encourage them and build their self-confidence. Show them that you trust them. Let them see you as the wonderful and vital divn you are in their lives. The one who will always provide them with security, encouragement, affection and closeness…