My Child Makes Excuses For Not Going To School

Find out if your child has excuses to avoid going to school and discover the reasons why he or she can do this.

The most common excuses to avoid going to school

Just before going to school, children may start complaining of stomach pain, headache or sore throat. These ailments will improve if you let the child stay at home, but they will return the next morning.

Children can also show their dissatisfaction by crying or having outbursts of rage. With older children, it can manifest itself in the form of provocative or aggressive behavior towards parents, the refusal to get out of bed or get ready to go to school. They may run away from home or drop out of school or have episodes of bad mood.

Why some children make excuses for not going to school

The excuses for not going to school can have internal or external reasons. Below we examine the causes of each of these types.

Excuses of internal origin

First of all, your child may feel anxiety or a paralyzing feeling of fear of leaving the safety of their parents and home. For example, your child may think that something bad will happen to him if he is not at home with you.

He may think he will get lost and do not know how to find your home. He may think that his parents will die while he is away.

In the same way, it can also depend on family situations. In the event of divorce, abuse or domestic violence, children may develop a fear of leaving home. They try to avoid their parents arguing and looking for excuses to get their attention.

In other cases, some children avoid going to school because they have an undiagnosed learning disability.

In addition, older children may find that staying at home is a more enjoyable experience than going to school. They want to sleep longer, surf the net, watch TV, play video games or do their other favorite activities.

Excuses of external origin

Other causes are social factors. In these cases, children are afraid of situations such as getting on the bus, writing on the board or speaking in front of their teachers and classmates. Because they feel afraid of failure, they come up with excuses to avoid it.

Another cause includes interpersonal problems. With younger children, they may see themselves as ugly or bad or think that no one wants to play with them.

In addition, it is possible that they may be victims of threats or some humiliating treatment. This reason is the most common among young people. Both teachers and parents must work together to stop bullying as soon as possible.

Physical changes can also affect. Adolescents sometimes feel anxious about their physical appearance. Anything can trigger this anxiety, like being overweight or too thin. This gives them low self-esteem.

In the case of girls, an early or very visible development causes anxiety. Hormonal changes contribute to these uncertainties. In addition, they are no longer the older and more experienced children at this new stage. They become the youngest and most inexperienced teenagers and that is a big change.

When you often hear excuses for not going to school

Making excuses to avoid going to school is very common and can occur at any time. However, they occur more often in children between 5 and 7 years of age and between 10 and 13 years of age.

In fact, up to 25% of school-age children will make excuses to avoid going to school at some point.

In younger children, this situation can occur after a holiday or after a short illness. This is because they have been attached to their family for a long time and do not want to end it. It is also possible that they come up with excuses after the death of a relative, change of school, a move to a new house, etc.

9 practical tips for parents

Before you start looking at what your children are saying as a simple excuse, think about this:

• Try to find the source of the excuses

• Check for the most common symptoms used as excuses, such as fever, headache, stomach pain, nausea and / or vomiting. Observe the intensity and frequency of these complaints to determine if they are genuine or fabricated.
• Be patient and do not lose patience.
• Do not be in a hurry to react negatively and to tell them that their fears are unfounded. Do not force them to go to school without first finding out their causes.
• Remember that constant fear can trigger anxiety disorders, phobias or panic attacks in the future.
• Keep in mind that school causes a lot of anxiety in children because it is not as caring as the home’s protected environment. This leads them to make excuses to avoid going to school.
• Deal with the situation without barking or diminishing their feelings. This will help prevent the problem from getting worse.

• Collaborate with teachers, schoolmates and siblings to handle the situation in the best way.
• A psychologist or counselor can give you practical suggestions for your specific case. Do not forget that you are not alone.

Problems that can cause frequent excuses for not going to school

When a child continues to make excuses to avoid going to school, you have a worrying situation. In these cases, it is advisable that you seek support from a school health service. Remember that this will be very important for your child’s overall development.

Leaving school due to fear and anxiety can cause serious academic and social problems. In the long run, it can also lead to them giving up their studies completely, being relegated to criminal behavior and financial abuse due to the difficulty of keeping a job.

Social isolation and marital problems are also possible consequences. As an adult, this situation can cause anxiety, depression, panic and personality disorders.

Although it is very common in school age to make excuses and try to avoid school, you must try to find the origin of the behavior. By successfully managing the situation, your children can get all the benefits of their school experience and feel much safer.