Why Is Parenthood So Different With The Other Child?
You have left the first pregnancy behind you and are now in the same situation, except that there is a big difference: it is not the first time. When you have the second child, the parenting becomes completely different.
When you become a parent for the first time, you live in a world that is parallel to reality. You idealize everything and try to keep your child in a bubble.
You try to be the perfect parent and luckily the time comes when you plant your feet firmly on the ground, often after receiving a few doses of reality as it is.
It often occurs when the second child is born. The search for perfection is no longer as important, and you understand how parenting changes when you go from having a child to two.
Experience is the basis for raising the other child
You have more experience. You have gone through the trial and error period with your first child and now you know what you want to do and most importantly, what you do not want to do because you have already learned from your mistakes.
Of course, the second child is a completely different person than the first and what worked with the first may not work with the second. But despite that, you will still have a jump start on the journey.
Visits, personal and intimate space, basic needs and the way you structure family values are things you have more or less clear to you by now.
You become a practical parent
If you can, take advantage of the clothes you saved from your first child. Your baby will be just as well protected and safe if they are wearing their siblings’ clothes.
You do not have to spend money on clothes that you already have and the money you save can easily be spent on other things because you now have two children and two sources of expenses.
You are now also an expert in managing your time because you are now able to look after two children while doing what needs to be done. You can bathe them together and feed them at the same time in less time than it took you with your first child.
How your child handles the arrival of a sibling
The first child, who will get used to being the only one and get all his parents’ attention and affection, may feel out of place when the new sibling arrives. They suddenly have to share their whole world.
A younger sibling can cause jealousy in most children. This is the reason why it is important to involve the older sibling in activities related to the baby’s arrival, before the birth comes so that they can feel important.
It is important to value our children above family and visitors, to avoid negative comments and above all, comparisons. Never compare siblings, especially not in front of others.
Remember that in psychological terms, children up to the age of six are characteristically egocentric. This means that they experience themselves as the center of the universe. That’s why they’re constantly repeating “my, my, my.”
A sibling forces them to share, even something as important as their parents’ attention. And we must give them time to adjust to their new situation.
Fortunately, children tend to grow out of behavior over time. This emotional phase is common in childhood in virtually all families. Children go through an enviable phase, whether it is long or short, and there is no other way than to simply go through it.
Time goes by much faster with the other child
It sounds silly, but it’s not. Your child will be much more aware of the world around them and learn faster. It is because of their optimal teacher: the first child.
The developmental phases occur much faster because you see both children growing at the same time. And before you know it, you already have a child crawling or running in the hall.
So now more than ever, enjoy them both! Your little baby will soon be your oldest child’s best adventure partner.
Also, do not forget that one of the most wonderful things you have had before your second child is experience. It allows you to feel more relaxed, and to enjoy all these moments to the fullest without focusing so much on worrying.
